Good language

Episode 3 –

Daughter, age 7, to son, age 5:  “Stop talking like an eight-year-old.”

Episode 2 –

Me to son:  “What would happen if a pack of coyotes got into the house?”  [Note:  It’s important to ask kids questions like this to keep them on their toes.]

Son:  “They’d wreck it looking for our meat stash.”

Me:  “… Our meat stash?”

Son:  “Yeah, the bacon and sausage we keep in the fridge.”

Episode 1 –

A couple years ago my daughter called out in the middle of the night:  “Dad, dad.  Come here.”   She’d probably called out a number of times before I woke up.  Still half asleep, probably more like three-quarters asleep, I trudged to her room.  “Dad, I heard an owl!  I heard it three times!”  Plausible.  I have no recollection of how I responded.  She continued:  “I need you to write it down.  Write down on the fridge I heard an owl in the night three times.”  I just wanted to go back to sleep so I trudged out to the kitchen and (groggily) obliged.  My wife noticed the white board on the fridge the next morning and snapped a picture.

I_heard_an_owl_in_the_night

At 3:00 AM the night before I believed that I was carrying out instructions exactly as directed.  (“Stop clubbing, baby seals.”)